


Onestuck

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, The Lorax (2012)
Genre: Gen, once-ler and greed-ler are like calliope and caliborn i guess?, sburb sessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Once-ler starts a game of Sburb, guided by a mysterious friend of his. Problem is, he has a...condition. With another person sharing his body and a strangely incomplete session, he must find his way out of the screwed-up Inciphisphere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter name.

Your name is...well, things are too complicated now for you to go by a name anymore. Instead, you use an alias. Anyway, your alias is the Once-ler and you have a strange feeling that today will be very important. It doesn't look like anything's happening today from what you can see of outside, but you just know that something's going to happen. 

Maybe this is the day you'll finally get away from your brother. Your brother is called the Greed-ler, and he is a pain in the ass. You were locked up in your house by the First Guardian, the Lorax, because of something he did. Apparently, the Greed-ler has somehow managed to turn half the valley into a wasteland. You have no real clue, your house is in the good part of the valley. Anyway, you're locked up for your brother's deeds because of your condition. Somehow, by some kind of mutation or fluke, you share a body with the Greed-ler. Every time you go to sleep, he takes control of the body, and every time he sleeps, you take control. It's a miracle he ever sleeps at all, you think. He absolutely detests you. Well, it's nothing. You hate him as well, it's all his fault that you're locked in a house. Joking about being homestuck is a one hundred percent plausible thing, but you have no clue what the hell that joke is even supposed to mean.

You go over to your computer and check your messages, as is customary when you wake up. What is also customary is for the Greed-ler to message you some hateful stuff right before he logs out and go to sleep. Today is no exception.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] began jeering truffulaTheocrat [TT]

tt: Well. Looks like today is that "special day" of yours. I don't know what the hell that means.  
tt: ...  
tt: ...........  
tt: Nothing's happening yet, looks like your intuitions were wrong!  
tt: See you around, whiny douche!

thneedborneTyrant [tt] ceased jeering truffulaTheocrat [TT]

Well, that's it. Just more awful banter. You grit your teeth and close out of the window. What Greed-ler wants is for you to snap on him, send him an angry message right back. It's what you'd just love to do, but you can't go down to his level. Besides, one of your friends has left you a message while you were asleep. Maybe she knows what's up with today.

clarentTechnician [CT] began trolling truffulaTheocrat [TT]

CT: hey once-ler  
CT: you -|--here  
CT: looks like i go-|-- here a-|-- -|--he wrong -|--ime huh  
CT: -D--AMMIT  
CT: well i-|--s perfec-|--ly accep-|--able for me -|--o swear if nobodys looking  
TT: emuile!  
CT: wai-|-- really you have go-|-- -|--o be kidding me righ-|-- now were you here -|--he whole -|--ime wa-|--ching me make a fool of myself  
TT: no, i just got on.  
CT: oh okay -|--hen -|--oday is -|--he day  
TT: the day for what? :o  
TT: i've had a feeling something big is going to happen today, but i don't know exactly what.  
TT: i also thought you would know, since you kind of know a lot of things. i guess that's the perks of being able to leave your house, huh?  
CT: well yeah -|--ha-|--s i-|--  
TT: oh, really. have you ever talked to my brother?  
CT: no and from wha-|-- youve -|--old me i don-|-- -|--hink i wan-|-- -|--o speak -|--o him  
TT: haha yeah! that's exactly how i feel about him. :p  
TT: did you know he sent me a rude message this morning? i always get a message like that when i wake up.  
CT: forgive me for swearing bu-|-- hes an asshole  
TT: well he is! so what's going to happen today?  
CT: your copy of sburb is here  
CT: i-|--s -|--ime -|--o GET YOUR GAME ON  
TT: really? i remember wanting sburb because it can manipulate the environment and break me out of my house, but i didn't think i bought it.  
CT: huh well you -|--old me you ordered i-|--  
TT: oh, so it's here? how do you know?  
CT: well -|--hose -|--hings -|--ake -|--wo business weeks -|--o ship and you -|--old me -|--wo weeks ago  
TT: :o  
CT: youre finally ge-|---|--ing away from your bro-|--her  
TT: not really. :(  
TT: wherever i go, my brother goes.  
CT: wai-|-- why i mean you ha-|--e him righ-|--  
TT: yeah, but...it's really complicated.  
CT: well sburb is some-|--hing else  
TT: how? it's just a game!  
TT: a game that has an effect on the real world, but still!  
CT: uh oh sorry i'm busy nice -|--alking -|--o you bye

clarentTechnician [CT] ceased trolling truffulaTheocrat [TT]

Well, that was weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Once-ler and Greed-ler are portrayed in fanon similarly to cherubs, so I just rolled with it.


	2. Once-ler: Attempt to find a way to spend your time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh come on once-ler how do you forget to log out when you're sharing a computer with someone who hates the fuck out of you

Well, there she goes. Emuile is acting all weird and noninformant. You really do hate when she suddenly lapses into cryptic language and then disconnects on the grounds of being "busy". You highly doubt that she is busy, as she doesn't ever bother to log out of her chat client. Hell, you could send her a message right now and see if she responds.

truffulaTheocrat [TT] began cheering clarentTechnician [CT]

TT: emuile? you there?

You wait for a few minutes, but nothing shows up.

clarentTechnician [CT] is now an idle chum!  
TT: okay, it looks like you are busy, sorry for doubting you. :p

truffulaTheocrat [TT] ceased cheering clarentTechnician [CT]

Now that you know Emuile actually doesn't have time to talk to you and isn't just acting like an asshole for whatever reason, you feel somewhat sad. This is completely irrational, as you have just figured out that she really is your friend, but she just doesn't have time for you. Even so, it doesn't change the fact that there is absolutely nothing left for you to do. You walk over to the window and stare outside. The various fauna of Truffula Valley are nowhere to be seen, as usual. Though your house is in a part of the valley that is still home to plant life, Greed-ler has made the animals scared of both of you. You seriously can't believe him, he's gone to such lengths to...do what? Make money? Sure, you have a lot of money, but it's all useless pieces of paper since you can't leave your house due to First Guardian reality warping powers.

Hell, you could try it right now. You open the window, climb onto the sill, and attempt to jump down into the valley, keyword being attempt. A flicker of green radioactive energy appears, and you land back on the floor of your room, right outside the open window. If you could talk to the Lorax, you might work out an agreement, but he seems to be ignoring you. Like everyone else, you haven't seen him since he locked you in your house.

At least it's a nice house. Greed-ler got it built with the money he's been making, and honestly it's one of the only things he's done that you approve of, and even now your appreciation of the house is waning. Being unable to leave the damn house has made you rather sick of it. As the days go on, your desire to go somewhere else grows. Even being in the wasteland would be better. There, you could figure out exactly what your brother has done, and maybe even try to reverse it, winning back the approval of the Lorax and the animals....

Too bad it's never going to happen until Greed-ler goes, and you have no idea how that would happen. Can you even get rid of him without dying? He has made several references to killing you, as if he would somehow come out of the incident alive and well. He's just an idiot, you tell yourself. He's a raving idiot who has no clue what he's talking about. The only way to kill you is by killing you physically, which will kill both you and Greed-ler, or by somehow destroying your personality, and that's impossible! Unless...

Unless that  _thing_ that happens when you go to sleep has something to do with it.

Whenever you go to sleep, you don't exactly sleep. You wake up in a gold place wearing similarly gold-colored pajamas. You are in a room that looks very similar to your actual room, but it's housed in a sphere on top of a thin tower. Outside, the place is populated by creatures that aren't exactly human. They have hard white exoskeletons, and they all wear black clothes. Over time, you have come to learn that it's a planet called Prospit, and you are on its moon.

All that's well and good, but the important thing is that there is no Greed-ler. Normally, you can feel his dormant presence in your mind, but on Prospit, he isn't there at all. Apparently, as he's said in one of his messages, he dreams on a different planet, Derse. So he's there right now. You wonder what it's like.

Ironically, to be completely free of him, you have to let him take control of the body. Maybe that's why Greed-ler goes to sleep. To go to Derse, where you're not in his head, or to bother you with his omnipresence.

You don't want to dwell on the subject of your "brother" for much longer — having him in your head is bad enough — so you get up and out of your room, looking for something to do. As always, the house is quiet and empty. You think back to your old tent, which was just the right size for one person, or two people in one body, if you really have to go there. It would be too small for a person trapped in it indefinitely, you admit, but the tent's familiar. You have no idea what's in most of the rooms in your house, and despite all the time you have for exploring, you've never felt like doing so. You do just fine living in the parts of the house you use. Maybe your brother uses the rest of the house and knows what's in the mysterious rooms, but what are you supposed to do, ask him about it?

Anyway, you're pretty fucking sure Greed-ler just got the biggest and most expensive thing he could think of built. He really doesn't do much besides harass you and lament over how much money he could be making if he could just go outside. Speaking of which, what happened to the thneed factory? Are people still working even though the boss disappeared, or did the Lorax teleport the factory to the sun? If so, you really hope he waited until all the workers had left for the day first. The First Guardian doesn't seem like he would just off dozens of people. Or maybe his protection doesn't extend to people, seeing as they've been terrorizing the forest and its inhabitants.

You climb up to the attic. As usual, the room is ridiculously dusty. Crates of thneeds and old broken furniture are now painted gray with dust that you don't dare disturb. You have allergies, for one thing. But more importantly, you don't want Greed-ler to know that you've been up here, on the off chance that he goes up to the attic. When he doesn't go to bed, he falls asleep in random places — the living room couch seems to be his favorite, he's set up a kind of nest there — but you've never woken up in the attic. But still, he probably couldn't sleep without sneezing to death.

You carefully tiptoe across the attic, making sure to leave the smallest footprints possible. You head to a giant portrait of your brother — his ego pisses you off — and push it aside. It's set on a sliding panel that reveals a secret room. You've spent weeks turning it into your room. The room you share with your brother doesn't count. This is  _your_ room, a place free from Greed-ler's corrupting influence. Sure you have to push a giant picture of him to get to it, but that's probably just some symbolic irony or shit like that. 

To reflect the fact that this is your room, you've decorated it in yellow like Prospit, the only other place you can think of that Greed-ler hasn't touched. A metal desk with a plastic yellow top holds a yellow-shelled laptop, a yellow chair pulled up to it. Even your guitar has yellow strings. Yellow-patterned wallpaper is pasted on the walls, a bit crooked since you had to do it yourself. You also have a matress with yellow sheets, but you wouldn't dare sleep in it. Then Greed-ler would come out, and he would know about the room.

You pick up your guitar and halfheartedly strum it, but you don't feel like singing or even actually playing anything. You just strum, but eventually you get tired of even that and put it down. Recently, you've only been happy on Prospit. Your situation is just to depressing, and you just want to sleep. Time passes quickly when you're sleeping, anyway. One of the few things you're sure about regarding your condition is that the setup with you and Greed-ler is only temporary. One of you will win out, and you hope it's going to be you.

Exiting the room, you slide the panel shut and tiptoe out of the attic again. Before you go back to your room, you go check the front door for mail. Unfortunately, the game isn't there. Greed-ler is right, your intuitions were wrong. Unless...

Now that you think about it, he was very assertive in his claims that today would be normal. He could be hiding the game from you.

So when you go back to your room (the one that's not secret), you send him a message for the first time.

truffulaTheocrat [TT] began cheering thneedborneTyrant [tt]

TT: hi, brother. i know you have the game, so just tell me where it is or install it or something. :|  
TT: okay yeah sure, you want to keep it to piss me off, but we need to work together and play it somehow. it's the only way we can get out of here!

truffulaTheocrat [TT] ceased cheering thneedborneTyrant [tt]

You climb into bed and drift off. Prospit is waiting for you.

The computer is still on, forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we see Greed-ler.  
> Why don't you drop me a review?


	3. Chapter 3

Your name is Greed-ler and you hate the world. It's one thing for the goddamn First Guardian to destroy your dream, but now you're going to be destroyed.

For a while now, you've been feeling underlying weakness. You brushed it off at first, thinking you just needed to sleep more or eat more or get some fresh air. That week, you slept for half the day, ate all the packs of marshmallows you could find (you have more hidden away somewhere, it's not the end of the fucking world), and opened some windows. But still your strength was being sucked away from you, day after day until you've reached the sorry state you're in now.

It didn't take you long to realize what was happening. The sorry excuse of an other half who thought of you as his "brother" was predominating. It mean's he stronger than you, but...it's absolutely fucking impossible for him to be stronger than you! Back in your biggering days, you could hardly sleep due to his weakness. You knew that if he was awake, he'd flake and shut down the factory and stop making Thneeds. That whole spiel about gentleness being its own form of strength is bullshit, a phrase engineered to make the weak feel a little better about themselves.

And that was where you had completely snapped. There was no way you could be fucking weaker than Oncie, of all people! From then on, you started sending him angry messages with more fervor. He has, to this day, never responded to even one of them. It's a pathetic reminder that yes, he is stronger than you. If he can resist the urge to rage at you, he can certainly take over a body.

You wake up, purple walls of Derse fading away, and suddenly you're right in the middle of another world, the afternoon sunlight streaming through your window. Due to your condition, you have a ridiculously fucked up sleep schedule, but it's never caused any problems. You have noticed that your sleeps are getting shorter and shorter, and you smirk to think of Oncie breaking down and spending more time in Prospit because you're not there. The thought is a small relief, but then reality crashes down on you, with your failing energy and the oppressive presence of Oncie in your mind. You swear you can hear his voice, even though he's far away frolicking around on a golden moon or some other dumb shit like that.

Something bright on the desk catches your eye. It's the computer screen, still on and logged in to Oncie's account. Well, isn't that a development. The instant messenger is still open, and besides you, you take note of the one other contact. It's nothing much, you only have one other contact, as well. After some poking around, you learn that he has, in fact, responded to you. Maybe he's snapped since the game is gone, the envelopes stowed away in a room you know for sure he never goes to. Maybe he's sent you an angry message, full of uppercase and swearing,  and that makes you laugh. Surely, that would make him weak enough that you will be the one to predominate instead. Probably not, as Oncie's presence doesn't wane.

You start to believe that this has been the Lorax's plan all along: lock you up until Oncie predominates, then let him free since he won't screw up the valley. It's not like he'll have any motivation to, anyway. Your family is long gone, frightened away by the Lorax's sudden display of radioactive power. Everyone within a ten mile radius must have pissed themselves and left. There goes your dream. Since you aren't going to end up on top, the Lorax might as well crush every aspiration you have, so...so what? So you'll leave without putting up a fight? Well, if that's what he thought, then he's wrong, so fucking wrong it's pathetic. You're on your last legs, fighting hard to do anything that might make Oncie break so that you'll end up predominating.

And that's why you're so unbelievably pissed off when you log into your account and find that all he's done is calmly ask you where the game is. You consider tossing the computer out the window, but you need the computer for the game, and the strange power around the house might teleport the computer back inside unscathed. Instead, you type out a reply, trying to keep your composure while making not-so-subtle jabs at him.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] began jeering truffulaTheocrat [TT]

tt: Yeah, no thanks. I'd love to work together, but you're so bad at games that I think you'd just get in my way.  
tt: Good luck getting the game, if you still think you can play it.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] ceased jeering truffulaTheocrat [TT]

Then you decide to contact Oncie's friend. Maybe they have information you can use against him. You type their name into their chat client, prompting a conversation.

theedborneTyrant [tt] began jeering clarentTechnician [CT]

tt: Who the hell are you?  
CT: i could say -|--he same -|--hing about you and besides youre -|--he one who s-|--ar-|--ed -|--alking -|--o ME  
tt: Whatever, you're Oncie's friend, aren't you?  
CT: wai-|-- who  
tt: Are you fucking serious? I'm asking if you know the Once-ler. I found your handle in his contacts list, so you probably do know him.  
CT: oh yeah of course i know him  
CT: bu-|-- WAIT how did you ge-|-- his con-|--ac-|--s lis-|--  
CT: are you -|--he asshole bro-|--her he's been -|--alking abou-|--   
CT: please excuse me for swearing  
tt: "Asshole brother"? Well that's just typical of him, talking shit about me behind my back like a coward.  
CT: bu-|-- youre doing -|--he same -|--hing  
tt: Not at all, the truth is, he's a coward. All the shit-talking I do is right to his face, because at least I can fucking express how I feel about things directly.  
tt: Anyway, can you tell me about him?  
CT: wha-|-- do you mean  
tt: I want to know his weaknesses and stuff. What does he hate the most?  
CT: no way hes -|--old me abou-|-- you and im no-|-- -|--elling you ANYTHING  
CT: excep-|-- -|--he second one -|--he -|--hing he ha-|--es -|--he mos-|-- is YOU  
tt: Okay, yeah, I should have expected you to be uncooperative. Never mind, then. I have other people to talk to.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] ceased jeering clarentTechnician [CT]

Believe it or not, you yourself have a similar friend, one who also mangles the letter "t" by replacing it with a symbol. He's not really your friend, as he has made multiple claims that he doesn't like you, but he's treated you better than Oncie's friend, who has called you an asshole in your first conversation. You decide to talk to him, as he's been useful in providing you information about the game.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] began jeering aurynsAllure [AA]

tt: Well, my copy of Sburb arrived today. I hid it before my dumbass brother can start playing it, I know he wants to do so, too.  
AA: Tha+'s no+ really a good idea,  
AA: Sburb is supposed +o be a coopera+ive game.  
AA: Ac+ually,  
AA: I don'+ +hink you can even play i+ by yourself.  
tt: Who even gives a shit? I'll just find a way to play it by myself!  
AA: Bu+ +here's a server disc and a clien+ disc,  
AA: and you need bo+h +o progress.  
AA: How are you going +o do +hat with only one person?  
tt: So I'll load them both on my computer! Problem fucking solved.  
AA: Sure,  
AA: if you really wish you could,  
AA: bu+ nobody's ever really +ried +ha+ before as far as I know.  
tt: But enough about that. You said that you know that somehow, I do end up playing the game. Can you see the future or some shit like that?  
AA: Yeah.  
AA: I jus+ wan+ +o help ou+ a fellow Heir,  
AA: you know?  
tt: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  
AA: Well,  
AA: everyone who plays +he game ge+s a +i+le,  
AA: and +ha+ de+ermines +he powers you ge+.  
AA: I'm +he Heir of Space,  
AA: and you will be +he Heir of Doom.  
tt: Heir of Doom? Sounds powerful.  
AA: I +hink of all +he classes and aspec+s being equal,  
AA: only sui+ed +o differen+ +hings.   
AA: The game's abou+ coopera+ion,  
AA: af+er all.  
AA: You could die if +here's nobody to cover your weaknesses.  
tt: Are you saying Sburb can fucking kill me?  
AA: Yeah,  
AA: +ry no+ +o worry abou+ i+ +oo much.  
tt: What? Do you know if I die? Tell me if I die!  
AA: I can'+ +ell you a +hing like +ha+,  
AA: you'll spend all of your +ime s+ressing over i+.  
AA: Anyway,  
AA: your dreamself on Derse can +ake over wi+h +he righ+ condi+ions,  
AA: or you migh+ go God Tier.  
tt: Right conditions? God Tier? What kind of shit did I get into now?  
AA: I know,  
AA: i+'s complica+ed.  
AA: Bu+ if you wish hard enough,  
AA: maybe you'll ge+ +he answers from somewhere else.  
tt: Wow, you're a useless piece of shit.

thneedborneTyrant [tt] ceased jeering aurynsAllure [AA]

The future scares you way more than you'd like to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the intro chapters of both 'lers follow the same structure. Exposition, and then a chatlog with the other 'ler, and then a chatlog with their patron troll (though Greed-ler kinda lives up to his name by hitting up Once-ler's patron troll). As you can see, the trolls have the same trolltag initials as the canon character that shares their blood color. I'd like to keep some similarity with Homestuck regarding the chatlogs and such.
> 
> I really don't like AA's quirk, I keep forgetting to replace t with + while I'm busy pressing enter after every punctuation mark. He does, however, live up to his trolltag in a way by going on about wishes. He also serves as a nice contrast to Emuile, who won't say shit about the game.
> 
> I hope nobody minds that Greed-ler has the same title as a canon Homestuck character.


End file.
